Nobody Cares


Wong (duh)








Human? (not sure)

Biological Gender

15px Presumed Male


15px It, Abomination, That


Who Knows (or cares)


5'1 (157 cm)


110 lbs (49.9 kg)


February 31st

Astrological Sign

15px BEAR

Blood Type

A- (this got him disowned, his family saying "failure run through veins!")


Second Rate Merchant


15px Marsexual

Personal Status

Stereotypical Chinese Salesmen Who Love Mars




Peddler/Student ??????



Personal Status

Mr. Wong Sr.

Mrs. Wong Sr.

Additional Info
A stereotypical Chinese salesman who loves Mars.

Deals Advil to students.


Wong is a Chinese male (Boy? Man? No one knows or cares.) He is obsessed with Mars to such of a degree that he joined the Astronomy Club just to take a telescope that points directly at Mars all the time (although, half of the time it points at the floor.) No one knows how old he is. He also owns a stand in front of the school selling Wong's Tasty Treats From MARS! and strange foreign products such as the little-known New Spice, a blatant ripoff of Old Spice; and the Niichan Ribaru, the newest car in the Niichan line.


Wong is very tall at a towering height of 157 cm (5'1.) Of course, this was compared to Martians, which apparently are only half that size, according to him. There is no evidence backing this whatsoever. Wong is very pale because he wears a space suit everywhere, to "protect from deadly radiation". He is somewhat thin and has black hair and blackish brown eyes. But no one knows that because his face is covered with a golden visor.


Wong can only be described as... eccentric to say the least.

First of all is his extreme obsession with Mars. No one but him seems to know why it started, and his explanation is that he saw a universe a thousand years in the future where his descendants got rich and bought half of Mars, transforming it into a rust-red New Las Vegas. He also developed a crippling phobia of shellfish that day, as he saw a giant humanoid lobster screaming as it ran, "WOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOP!!!!!!"

Speaking of phobias, Wong has an even more crippling fear of sticks. No one knows why.

Wong is secretly a Yandere, but for Mars, so as long as you don't say Mars is a desolate, inhospitable ball of rust, Wong won't care.

Lastly, Wong's persona is salesman meaning he will try and sell Wong's Tasty Treats from Mars!© to the murderer, ignoring the fact he just saw someone die. This might help in finishing the job if the person somehow wasn't dead yet.


One midsummer day, A young Wong sadly departed from the mountain temple of Shan-Xiao in the Himalayas, where he had mastered the art of Tai Chi, bound for a mysterious unknown continent to the east (or west, the Earth is round) to perfect his studies in rocketry to fulfill his lifelong dream of going to Mars.

Or so he would have hoped.

What actually happened is he got bored of being an ordinary second-rate merchant in the poor part of Shanghai's Red Light District and packed his bags to be a second-rate merchant in a new land! He just started walking eastwards and faced the East Sea. Then he swam. and swum. and swam. Until he reached land. But the people talked a strange language, unlike the one he studied for years. But they wrote in his native language, but with weird simpler squiggles too. He had found the wrong place. But he was lazy and decided he didn't care. He now lives in a box on top of his stand, which is hidden in front of the school somewhere.

In-Game (hah as if)


4:30 Wakes up extra early to admire Mars-Senpai

4:30 - 7:00 Admires Mars-Senpai

7:00 - 8:00 Peddles to students

8:00 - 1:00 Goes somewhere (presumed class, but could really be anywhere)

1:00 - 1:30 Eats a healthy lunch of Wong's Tasty Treats from Mars™ with a supplement of Lion Ointment™

1:30 - 3:30 Goes somewhere again

3:30 - 5:00 Peddles to remaining students

5:00 - 10:00 Admires Mars-Senpai

10:00 Sleeps in box on top of stand



Wong loves Mars. Possibly the most one-sided relationship in history.


Wong and REDHUU™-Sama are business partners.

Stevie Mills

Stevie is a close friend of Wong's despite being allergic to his spacesuit. In order to hang out with him, Stevie runs around in his giant inflatable bubble while near him. Stevie would like to try Wong's Tasty Treats, yet they'd kill him immediately due to allergies and the fact that they'd probably kill just about anyone.


on a 0-10 scale, 0 being the worst and 10 being godlike



  • Strength - 1 or infinity, depending on what he's carrying
  • Dexterity - 7
  • Stamina - 1


  • Charisma - 10
  • Manipulation - 10 
  • Appearance - ? (just assume it's 0)


  • Perception - 5
  • Intelligence - 3.8
  • Wits - 1 to 10, he has his moments


Preferred Weapon

Wong's Tasty Treats, New Spice Blast, Special Move: Ribaru Throw


  • Animals - 0
  • Crafts - 7
  • Driving - 0
  • Etiquette - 1
  • Firearms - 1 (but incredibly lucky exactly 0.001% of the time)
  • Larceny - 0
  • Melee - 0
  • Performance - 1
  • Stealth - 1
  • Survival - if on Mars, 10. If anywhere else, 1
  • Swimming - -5


  • Academics - ?
  • Computer - 3
  • Finance - 10
  • Investigation - 4
  • Law - 0
  • Medicine - 0
  • Occult - 7
  • Science - 10
  • Cooking - debatable

The below stat template was made by CrystaltheCool.

Social Stats

  • Friends: 3 or 4

  • Enemies: probably a bunch

  • Reputation: depends

  • Tasks: 1

  • Seduction: anything with Mars

  • Numbness: Complete

  • Enlightenment: i dunno maybe

  • Crush: Mars

  • Rivals: Some astronomer, somewhere.

  • Murders Witnessed/Enacted: 10 Witnessed, Countless Enacted

    • Rivals Eliminated: many

      • Fatal Methods: 0

      • Indirect Methods: Countless

      • Pacifist Methods: 0

Overall Social Skills: 5 out of 10 (10 for anything involving money, 0 for all else.)